Friday, August 6, 2010


Despite the lack of talk here, we're still chugging along on the wedding planning. The current major project that's taking all our energy we're procrastinating on like crazy is invitations. We're semi-DIYing them--we let someone else do all the printing and cutting rather than fight with our dying inkjet (or buy a new one) and a paper cutter, but now everything needs to be glued. And stuffed. And stamped. And addressed. And all I can say is thank goodness we didn't try to completely DIY these or we might have both gone completely insane!

Fortunately, Carrie's sister (you may know her from the comments as "Anonymous") has graciously offered to help us with a bunch of this stuff, and her husband also graciously offered to watch the boys for the weekend so that she CAN help us! I also hear he is providing food? I'm there! So we'll be hauling our big box o' invitation supplies across several (teeny Northeastern) states next weekend for an invitation assembly extravaganza.

But in the meantime, we need to get all these envelopes addressed. And that has proven to be a much more contentious task than I had imagined. I remember reading stuff about invitation-addressing etiquette online back when we first started planning and thinking, "Who cares?" Apparently, some people care. And I strangely discovered that I care much more than I expected and in very conflicting ways. I like the formality of doing it the "right" way as determined by etiquette guides, but I really hate the fact that the formal way includes omitting the woman's name in most straight, married partnerships in which the woman takes her husband's last name. So I debated long and hard over whether to fight against Mr. and Mrs. Hisname; Carrie and I actually spent the better part of a day discussing this as we tried to make a spreadsheet with everyone's addresses and how to list their names. And in the end, formality and consistency won out for all but a couple close friends who I knew weren't fans of that convention.

And then in addition to the debate over how to address straight, married couples with the same last name, there are all the other variations of names and relationships to consider. Couples where one or both partners have professional titles. Unmarried couples. Married couples with different last names. Unmarried couples who may or may not view themselves as in a marriage-like relationship. Divorcees. Widow(er)s. And how does that "and guest" thing work again? Oh, and let's not forget that at least 10 people on our guestlist have moved just in the last 3 months since we sent out the Save-the-Dates. And did we keep track of these address changes in an organized fashion on our address spreadsheet? Of course not. Does that really seem like our style?

Anyway, after much digging through emails for addresses and consulting with moms and the internet, I think we finally have a list of how to address everyone's invitations. Since I have been voted "handwriting that looks least like a 1st grader's" in our relationship, I was awarded the task of addressing the envelopes. And of course I got some bright idea that writing in cursive would look prettier than printing, I am painstakingly writing them all in my best Zaner-Bloser script, which I have not used on a regular basis since about 6th grade. Why? I can only conclude it's because I'm a crazy person. So in sum, if you get an invitation in the mail from us, please pause for a second and admire the pretty handwriting. Unless you hate that I wrote your name as Mrs. Yourhusbandsname. Then just throw it out and don't hate me, please?

Apologies for the lack of pictures--I forgot that Carrie already used them in a previous post. I guess that's what I get for sharing the blog with which I mean getting her to co-blog and then neglecting to post anything for weeks. Oops.


  1. You coulda just used the same pics again and seen if anyone noticed... Excited for you guys to come next weekend. I like a well defined project with an endpoint -- better then spending the weekend cleaning!

  2. Wow, it never even occurred to me that addressing envelopes for a formal event could be so complex! Sure enough! I got some FREE return address labels in the mail the other day and was actually really disappointed that they used Ms. instead of Dr. Turns out I'm a snob. Although, if I got an invitation from a friend inviting me to such an important event, I know that would be the LAST thing on my mind!

  3. Oddly enough, if we were addressing an envelope to you, "the rules" say that you would be "Miss" not "Dr." Apparently a PhD Dr. is considered a professional title and not a social one (whereas MD is and therefore that invitation would be addressed as "Doctor"). But we certainly ignored that rule for most of the non-MD doctors on our list.

  4. Yeah, that doctor-title thing has sometimes been a point of contention around here.... it's funny where etiquette tradition comes from.

  5. A friend commented on the lovely handwriting on the envelope of the invitation she received. - from mother of the other anonymous

  6. Yay! I'm glad to hear that someone liked it!